Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
