trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
