brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
