I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
