this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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