So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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