I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
