let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
