Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
