sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
