i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
