He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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