So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
