That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
