You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
