We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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