his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
