I love black thongs
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
