I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
