Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
