Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
