Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
