How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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