Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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