omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
