You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
