the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize