I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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