So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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