Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
