What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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