dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
