quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
