i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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