we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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