you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm getting married
To pizza
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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