I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
