loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
