Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
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FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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