just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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