im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need to calm my uterus...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
