Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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