If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
