Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
