her vagine was all disorganized.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
