I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
