oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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