Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Randomize
