Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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