So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
