is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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