Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
