the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
