Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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