I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
