We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
