i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
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Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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