I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
