If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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