Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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