omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
