I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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