Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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