yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
