I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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