It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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