We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
